​You sought home in me when the world shunned you. Drew me out until your ears grew heavy with my voice. You told me I was the lullaby your mother could never sing and smiled like it was a compliment. I smiled back. I was proud of being something to someone, it was an accomplishment you forced down on me. 
I was your favorite lullaby until you stopped falling asleep. The world was opening up to you and it was prettier than my tunes. I sang songs of bereavement hoping the music would make its way to you, but the world had you in her palms, I could see you dancing to her quick beats like you never did to mine. I was your favorite lullaby until the world pulled you out of our cocoon. I clutched hope by her throat, I wanted her to soothe this burning ache. Your absence hit me like bullets to the head. Let me show you, let me show you. The universe is here with us. 
I’ll try a different tune this time. I’ll try till your eyes drop. I’ll try harder this time, I’ll – 

I did. I tried. But you fell asleep before I began. 


Mother taught me to eye women like angels
No abuses, no harassment, no catcalling
Respect and adoration.
Respect and adoration.
I was raped by one.
Inside out, severed and violated
My soul in shatters on the floor
Where she’d left me,
Untied yet screaming for release.
My body in chunks of shame
Bleeding where your cruel hands had touched.
I was raped.
Ignoring knocks of Humiliation at the door,
I ran to the police.
And they,
Accused me of spinning yarns
Press charges against a woman? What?
You mad?
A broken hymen calls forth cops and culprits
But my ripped apart virginity called none.
I begged,
She tied me up with ropes of privilege
Hurt me till I cracked like a desert
Came at me, that monster
And raped me. She raped me.
Son, they said,
You got lucky
Quit whining, run home
You don’t want the tables turned.
I was raped.
And no,
The pain wasn’t luck
What she did wasn’t consensual
The abuse wasn’t fun
He said, you’re a guy
And she a girl
With your roles reversed, it makes no sense.
I’m back in school,
Learning who gets raped.
The women do, the little girls do.
Men don’t get raped
No, We don’t feel the agony of assault
We don’t consider our bodies precious
We can never not want sex
What a crazy idea!
I’m back home
Respect and adoration, son
Respect and adoration.
But mother, you never taught me to look for the fallen angels,
The Lucifers among you saintly folk
Never taught me to fight back when they strike
Never let me borrow sister’s pepper sprays
When I was the one who needed them most
Didn’t let me admit that a girl in class had hit me
You called it a shame.
And me a disgrace.
You never taught me to respect myself, mother.
Now it’s too late for respect and adoration.
My bleeding soul is too tired
For self respect
The world tells me to forget.
And man up
Damsels in distress
Fall high in importance